For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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