Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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