Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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