we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize