worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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