I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just pee around me
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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