you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
