Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
