And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
