just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
