weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
