lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize