HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
