my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We need to rekindle our bromance
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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