Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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