She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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