i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
