She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
