I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
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She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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