Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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