no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
