omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
