Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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