hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
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That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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