you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
