she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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