Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
