You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
