hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
another moral hangover. fuck.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize