I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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