He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
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And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
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Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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