Whod you bang
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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