dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she smelled like a LAN party
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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