Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
