I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
