STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
