i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
