you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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