i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
