The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize