you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
