last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
