Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
