What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
