Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
