It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
