did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
