You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize