i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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