some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
