Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Randomize