Will you blow on my dice?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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