dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
