I bet he comes in French.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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