idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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